This is a continuation of a series on self care and wellness.
eople often say to me, when they learn I am a counsellor, that they just can't bring themselves to ask for help in time of crisis, need or self searching. Is it true that asking for help, whether it be for directions across town or for emotional support in a personal crisis, is an admission of weakness and failure? Or could it be that the request for assistance is in fact a sign of strength, a recognition that there are resources which expand and enhance our own.
We all have stories of driving without directions in some unfamiliar city, fruitlessly searching for an elusive street. And just as there are those of us who adamantly refuse to ask for street directions, there are those who shun asking for emotional/mental/spiritual direction.
The argument goes something like this: No one else can tell me what to do about this; I have to figure it out for myself. And you know what? I agree. I believe that each of us contains all the personal wisdom we need to answer our own questions.
My only caveat is that you will go further and faster in your search if you have someone to support you. Of course, no one else has your solutions; only you know what youneed for yourself. What someone else can do for you is to act as a mirror, listening and reflecting back your own thoughts, questioning in a way that provides a new perspective and affirming your personal search for your own answers.
Being self sufficient, strong and knowing are highly valued qualities in our current world. The paradox is that having these qualities can mean having the strength to ask for and receive counsel at certain times in our lives. Good counselling seeks to engage you in self-care, developing self-reliance and holding you accountable for yourself. This means, of course, that you must be active in searching for and helping to create a trusting relationship.
Whether you are experiencing a major life transition or meeting the challenges of daily life, you have a right and a responsibility to have your needs met. Counselling can be the door to life skills of self reflection, greater self awareness and understanding, and ultimately, inner peace. You need only be willing to use your strength to ask.
Janice Falls, resident in Old Ottawa South, is a counsellor for personal and spiritual growth, helping people learn the fine art of self care. For further information call 730-0373.